Connor's trick

I have a lot of other blog posts to catch up on, but this one could not go untold! (Mike is the author of this one. I am not a good writer.) To Connor: Some stories are too good to be left untold. I remind you at the outset, little friend, that in this instance, you were at least as amused by your performance as was I. I’m very sorry all the same. Love, Dad. After last evening’s bath, Connor, in typical four-year-old fashion, was enjoying the liberty of roaming the upstairs hallway totally in the buff. After helping with his toothbrush, I suggested to Connor that he bring me a “flosser”—a small, single-use plastic handle with a short length of dental floss spanning one end. To my surprise, Connor returned quickly. His hands were behind his back. “Dad,” he said eagerly, “guess which hand my flosser is in!” He seemed to be favoring his left hand. I’m no fool. “This one,” I said, pointing to his right hand. “Nope!” He showed me. I guessed the other hand. “Nope!” I admit that I was stumped. Clearly, there was nothing up his sleeve. With that, Connor reached down between his bare knees, which I only then realized he’d kept pressed together as he’d waddled into the room. This time it was Connor who seemed surprised—there was nothing there, either! Aah, then he remembered: With a look both impish and self-satisfied, he withdrew the flosser from between his clenched butt cheeks. “Tuh-dah!!” he crowed, flourishing the bright orange contraption before my view. When I told Ang this story later, she asked between sniggering spells how I had kept from bursting with laughter. I guess I had been truly awed by the boy’s prodigious gift for sleight of hand! Going to bed last night, though (and also now), I could not refrain from recurring bouts of giggling. Although the story may be more memorable without such a disclaimer, I feel it is my duty to certify that Connor’s flosser was not used last night—other than as a tool of illusion. I took it gingerly from his hand and, with genuine approbation in my voice, suggested that we might just forgo flossing for the evening.